Jeg kører med Akismet her på bloggen, så jeg slipper i store træk for at se spam-kommentarer — de bliver parkeret af Akismet i en speciel folder, og automatisk slettet efter 15 dage hvis jeg ikke gør noget inden.

Indtil videre har den fanget 1.232 stykker spam, og af dem der er ankommet indenfor de sidste par uger er der en del (ufrivilligt?) morsomme imellem. Faktisk så underholdende, at jeg overvejede at godkende dem, men dog fjerne links, der er jo ingen grund til at opfordre til gentagelser… Jeg har dog på fornemmelsen, at Akismet muligvis bruger min kategorisering, så derfor gengiver jeg et par stykker her i stedet (original formattering osv. bibeholdt):

Sarcastic ??Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. Do I look like a fucking people person? This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. You! Off my planet !!Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control. I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Let me show you how the guards used to do it. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…? I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Do they ever shut up on your planet? I’m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one. How many times do I have to flush before you go away? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2? Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Just smile and say “Yes, Mistress.” Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done. Earth is full. Go home. Is it time for your medication or mine? Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego? I plead contemporary insanity. How do I set a laser printer to stun? I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

THE WORLD’s 20 SHORTEST BOOKS0. “The Book of Virtues” by Bill Clinton19. “My Plan To Find The Real Killers” by OJ Simpson18. Human Rights Advances in China17. America’s Most Popular Lawyers16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors15. Detroit – A Travel Guide14. Different Ways to Spell “Bob”13. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational Speeches12. Easy UNIX11. Al Gore: The Wild Years10. Everything Men Know About Women9. Everything Women Know About Men8. French Hospitality7. George Foreman’s Big Book of Baby Names6. “How to Sustain a Musical Career” by Art Garfunkel5. Mike Tyson’s Guide to Dating Etiquette4. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA3. “Things I Wouldn’t Do for Money” by Dennis Rodman2. The Amish Phone Directory1. The Engineer’s Guide to Fashion

Are you a crackpot?A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.” The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house”Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You’ve just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.Blessings to all my crackpot friends.

BoatHere’s one for all of you boat fanatics….A true Story. If, God forbid, she had killed herself, she’d be a shoe-in for the Darwin Award. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde new to boating was having a problem.No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get her brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn’t get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina, hoping that they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. (Wait for it . . . .)(Remember, this is a true story . . . . .) .Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was THE TRAILER

4 tanker om “Spam-underholdning

  1. Jeg synes den øverste er helt, HELT fantastisk!
    Det er bare den sygeste monolog! Übercool – hvis det endelig skulle være: hvorfor får jeg ikke den slags spam?

  2. For at svare på spørgsmålet først: Jeg tror bare du er heldig!

    Og ja, jeg tabte også underkæben lidt, da jeg faldt over den. :)

  3. Heh, fandt lige en mere, som dog kan vise sig at være et citat:

    William Shakespeare. Sonnet XC Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now; Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross, Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow, And do not drop in for an after-loss: Ah, do not, when my heart hath ’scoped this sorrow, Come in the rearward of a conquer’d woe; Give not a windy night a rainy morrow, To linger out a purposed overthrow. If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last, When other petty griefs have done their spite But in the onset come; so shall I taste At first the very worst of fortune’s might, And other strains of woe, which now seem woe, Compared with loss of thee will not seem so.

    Nu mangler vi bare at der er nogen der begynder at spamme med lorem ipsum…

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