Disclaimer

Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity article. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. Article is provided “as is” without any warranties. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.

Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.

Call toll free before digging. Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Colors may, in time, fade. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not disturb. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Do not stamp. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line. Don’t quote me on anything. Don’t quote me on that. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox.

Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible.

Falling rock. First pull up, then pull down. For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Freshest if eaten before date on carton.

Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat.

If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If condition persists, consult your physician. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Instructions are included.

Keep away from fire or flames. Keep away from pets and small children. Keep away from sunlight. Keep cool.

Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.

Many suitcases look alike. May be too intense for some viewers.

Must be 18 to read. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No Canadian coins. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles.

Offer valid only at participating sites. One size fits all. Other restrictions may apply.

Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory – explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include taxes. Process promptly. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.

Quantities are limited while supplies last.

Read at your own risk. Read only with proper ventilation. Reader assumes full responsibility. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.

Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. Some assembly required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Subject to CAB approval. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

Terms are subject to change without notice. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This is not an offer to sell securities. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate.

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This supersedes all previous notices.